Comrades,

It’s so good to be back online! But why has it taken us so long, I hear you say?

As you well know, the old web is a difficult squirrel (as is said in Denmark) and we have scratched and pondered our acorns longly, to get the site just right.

Actually, I’ve just returned from a guided tour of the spanking new server that brings you these glistening pages. My word, what an edifice; what a workforce! Our ‘team’ are just beavering away 24/7 to bring you ‘content’.

The cost, the energy and the waste created by this mega-monolith? None! Yes, unbelievably (I was told and I checked) our website is 100% organic, eco-friendly and has zero emissions. We are totally green! I was aghast… but how?

Well, I’ll tell you: When I was shown a door marked, ‘Cud’, I knew we were onto something. The door was opened to me and there stood a cow! Yes, a cow chomping away on it’s own pasture! I asked the ‘team’, ‘Is that a real cow and is it connected to our sever?’. ‘Yes, Sir (they are very formal), it is and it is’.

They went on to explain that every time a nomadic surfer clicks on one of our web pages, a tiny tingle is sent to one of the cow’s udders, this makes it produce milk into an urn which is then re-cycled and given to a local school for use at morning break. Not only that, this tingle also makes the cow chew more and, thus, energy is generated to power the server.

Blow me, how green is thy silicon valley? Well, I welled up – what a breakthrough!

I had heard that this had been tried before without success. Rumour had it that Coldplay had used badgers to send emails but the badgers were put off by Chris Martin’s revolutionary dress sense. Also that Radiohead had banks of caged Robins. Every time a track was downloaded from their site, the Robins would wildly peck tiny keyboards and randomly generate music. And there was I thinking that all of Radiohead’s music sounded like it was randomly generated?

Anyways I’m glad we can reach out to you again but spare a thought for our cow when you spill something on your keyboard.

Enjoy! And I’ll see you soon… By the way, personal apologies from me, regarding the delay of the Boxed Set.We are working to get them to you as soon as possible – shouldn’t be long…

Bedders