Lyrics

In the pub about seven thirty
Mother makes sure that his face ain’t dirty
Him and mother go everywhere
Holds her hand without a care

Lived with mother for forty years
The neighborhood said that he must be queer
Normal folk just ain’t like that
Glad he can’t hear behind his back

When mother dies he will have a cry
Cos he’ll be on his own
He’s frightened stiff will it come to this
Will he lose her to the heavenly home

In the pub about seven thirty
Mother makes sure that his face ain’t dirty
Him and mother go everywhere
Holds her hand without a care

Lived with mother for forty years
The neighborhood said that he must be queer
Normal folk just ain’t like that
Glad he can’t hear behind his back

When mother dies he will have a cry
Cos he’ll be on his own
He’s frightened stiff will it come to this
Will he lose her to the heavenly home

Once went out with a London girl
Dirty weekend in a hotel
Broke it off when she got shirty
She was twelve and he was thirty
Right after that he was dead sore
He wouldn’t go out with girls no more
From that day since he never has
He wants to do something dirty

Knickersknackersknockers!